numb

I am losing you every day
within the vague ripples of memory,
over the sharp edges of regret.
You are slipping through the shuffling
of papers and falling to the ground unnoticed.
My clumsy disposition and awkward hands
lose their grip on you.

The quiet that follows your departure
is loud, angry, insatiable. It shocks my
logical mind to believe that silence
can be this loud.

And amongst their hushed words
and worried expressions
I am alone, but looking for excuses to
be in the midst of chaos and crowds. Perhaps their exuberance
will numb my longing.
Perhaps the sounds will momentarily fill the
collapsed spaces in my heart
so I can breathe again.