save it for a rainy day

Today it rained, and the overcast skies
reminded me of the moments I sat in front
of Lake Ontario that quiet day, my heart heavy
with the memory of sins.

The rain now wets my sleeves and fingertips;
a small price to pay for Allah’s Mercy.
And though I have asked of Him,
I still do not know if sacrificing this love will be the sun
that evaporates my lake of sins,
or be the weight that pulls me down the road of regret.

I still do not know whether time will mend the potholes of my heart,
or whether they will remain –
future travelers beware of the shaky road ahead.

focus

I remember you at the most inopportune times;
your face materializes in my mind as I cross a busy street
(I’m almost run over)
the smallness of your hands makes me smile on the bus
(I miss my stop)
the sound of your voice riddles my dreams
(I sleep fitfully)

I am in consistent disarray,
swimming in untied, frazzled memories.
And it makes me so angry
that you are able to focus,
and I am not.